


Don't Wake the Baby

by Mara



Series: Baby [2]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-15
Updated: 2009-12-15
Packaged: 2017-10-04 11:23:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mara/pseuds/Mara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>See X-Men. See X-Men babysit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Wake the Baby

**Author's Note:**

> This story is for the babies (or former babies) in my life: Oz, Rachel, Anna, Noa, Hannah, and Jake. No matter how old they get, I'll always remember them as small, warm, and screaming their heads off.
> 
> **Telepathy**

It was a warm, late-summer night at the Xavier school. The students were snug in their beds, or at least someone's bed, and Scott Summers had finally gotten his three-month-old daughter Rachel to sleep. He was curled up, warm and snug next to his wife.

The moon was glowing, the crickets were chirping, all was right with the world. So, naturally...

"Waaaah!"

Scott rolled over and nudged Jean. "Honey?"

"Waaaaah!"

"Jean, honey?" Scott's eyes were covered with his night mask, so he couldn't see her, but she didn't seem to be moving. He heard her groan. "Jean? I'm all for sharing the joys of parenting, but I've only had a few hours sleep. Jean?"

Another groan and an unintelligible mutter were his only response. His darling daughter let out another wail and Scott sighed. Keeping his eyes closed, he took off his mask and put on his glasses.

He pulled off the covers and opened his eyes to find his daughter floating by. She was about three feet off the ground, followed by a diaper, a pacifier, and her favorite stuffed bunny. Rachel smiled and waved at her daddy as she went by.

In his years with Professor Xavier, Scott had seen many strange things, quite a few improbable things, and at least three things he'd thought impossible. But none of that prepared him for this moment. "Jean?"

Without opening her eyes, Jean held out her arms and Rachel floated into them, followed by the bunny. The pacifier and diaper settled on the nightstand.

"Urk," Scott said as Jean lifted her nightgown and began to nurse their daughter. The baby settled down happily and Jean finally opened her eyes.  
"Urk," Scott said again, a little more firmly this time.

"What's wrong?" Jean asked.

Scott lowered himself back on the bed and closed his eyes again. "Nothing, dear."

* * *

Really, having a baby was wonderful, Scott thought. Most of the time. When, say, he wasn't short on sleep or covered in spit-up.

He looked blearily at himself in the bathroom mirror, wiping away the steam from his shower. "Well, I've finally found the bright side of my red glasses. Nobody can see the bags under my eyes." He heard Jean laugh in the bedroom and a corresponding giggle from Rachel, and felt a smile form on his face. Okay, there were compensations.

"Scott?" Jean asked.

"Hmmm?"

"Did the Professor give a dress code for this afternoon's event?"

"This aft...oh, Parent's Day. Not exactly. I think his exact words were 'Send Jean to make sure Miss Braddock's skirt covers her knees.'"

There was a smothered laugh from the bedroom and two faces peeked around the doorway. "He didn't!" Jean said.

"He did. And I couldn't bring myself to ask if he was joking. I think he's worried about how the event will go, and the effect of rising anti-mutant sentiment on the few parents who actually stay in touch with their kids. Especially after the incident with Sarah's parents."

Jean bounced Rachel up and down a bit. "I'm more worried about the effects of Parents Day on the other kids." She frowned, hugging her baby tighter. "Rogue's been more than usually upset."

Scott reached out and pulled his wife and daughter into a tight hug, trying to imagine what could cause a parent to throw their child out on the streets.

Rachel reacted to the sudden change in mood with a whimper and Jean pulled away. "That's enough of that, you finish getting ready. We still have morning classes to teach."

* * *

One calculus, one algebra, and one statistics class later, Scott was hurrying down the hall to check on the progress of the caterer when he passed Jean's classroom. He couldn't help stopping to look through the glass.

Jean was leaning against her desk and drawing a picture in the air with her hands. By the notes on the blackboard they seemed to have reached the respiratory system. Rachel was asleep in a bassinet, which rocked back and forth with a suitable application of telekinesis. It was, the Professor said gravely, good practice for Jean.

Scott smiled and Jean sent warm thoughts down their link. Then he continued on his way.

* * *

An hour later, the dining room looked like it had been attached by a pack of rabid interior designers. Designers obsessed with balloons and who had obviously just learned how to make banners with a color printer. Scott winced as he estimated the number of ink cartridges he'd be replacing, but the whole effect was oddly endearing.

He paused in the doorway to survey the scene. The Professor was smiling genially at a mousy-looking woman and her weedy husband. Hard to believe they were the parents of the tough Angelo.

Warren was off in the corner with a new buddy, a financial type, and they were happily discussing some recent merger. Scott shrugged. As long as the parents were happy, Warren could dance the macarena.

Some of the students were valiantly mingling, like Paige and Sam, who were introducing their mother around. At least *she* looked happy to be there.

Speaking of being there, where had his wife and child gotten to? The Professor raised an eyebrow, obviously wondering the same thing. Scott shook his head.

**I'll find her,** the Professor said into his mind, **if you take this pair off my hands.**

**Deal,** Scott said, as he walked over to be introduced.

**Jean?** the Professor called.

**On my way, sir. Rachel is not pleased at being awakened and moved.**

**Perhaps you should leave her with someone so she can go back to sleep. Bringing her here will only mean more stimulation. Why don't you check if Hank is in his office?**

* * *

Jean hurried to Hank's office in the lower levels as fast as she could, considering the height of her heels. Rachel squirmed in her arms and made little sounds of annoyance.

The door was fairly difficult to open while holding a squirming baby and a diaper bag, but Jean had recently become an expert.

Hank looked up from his computer screen at the sound of the door. "Dear lady, I thought that you and your delightful progeny were due to charm your way through the parents?"

Rachel stopped squirming at the sound of his voice and smiled at her Uncle Hank. He held out his arms and she happily snuggled up to her very own living teddy bear.

"I am," Jean said, "but Rachel was getting restless. Can you watch her for a while? I'm sure she'll go right back to sleep."

Hank paused, thinking of his unfinished work, but he was unable to resist Jean's pleading look. She could use some time off from watching her daughter now and then. "I'm certain that Rachel and I can find diversion enough for a few hours."

Jean thanked him profusely, kissed her daughter, and clicked her way out of the lab.

Rachel curled up in Hank's lap, and he kept the two of them entertained for a little while with various gadgets off his desk. The ones that rattled or chirped kept her happy for a while, but when Hank tried to put her down on her blanket on the floor, she got cranky.

"Dear child, it is imperative that I accomplish at least some of my tasks today. Perhaps you could occupy yourself for just a short while?"

Rachel started to cry, and Hank sighed. He picked her and her things up and set off to find another vic...er, volunteer. He was not ready to be a parent.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Parent's Day...Scott and Jean were being gracious. Very gracious. They did it well, actually, but it was tiring.

**I can't believe I already miss Rachel,** Jean said to Scott.

**I know what you mean, but she needs to get used to spending some time with other people,** Scott said, smiling at Bobby's mother as she described something cute he'd done as a baby. **So, how is Rachel doing, anyway? You can't tell me you haven't checked up on her at least once.**

Jean chuckled mentally. **You got me. She's doing fine, she was sending happy giggly thoughts a few minutes ago. I'm sure she'll fall asleep soon.**

* * *

The snacks were set out on the rec room table, the television was set to the Cartoon Network, and Jubilee had hidden the remote. She was firmly ensconced and determined to enjoy her afternoon off from classes when Hank and Rachel loomed over the back of the couch.

"Hey, Hankster, whatcha doing?" Jubilee asked. "Aren't all you teacher types supposed to be wowing the 'rents?"

"The Professor allows me to skip certain of these yearly events. He knows that I am not entirely comfortable in public."

Jubilee changed the subject hurriedly, realizing she'd been remarkably tactless, even for her. She was fond of the big furry guy after all. "So the price was watching the kid?"

"No, Jean asked me. Her presence is absolutely necessary, as she is our best known faculty member, and Scott is the Professor's right hand. In any case, while I am very fond of Rachel, she is inhibiting my work." Hank tried to look at Jubilee as pitifully as Jean had looked at him. "I know you two get along quite well."

Jubilee groaned and Rachel burbled at her. "It's my day off!" Hank just looked even more pitiful.

"Oh hell, Blue, gimme the baby." Jubilee jumped off the couch and took Rachel. "Hey, I can introduce her to some cartoons. I guess she's too young for Cheetos."

Hank looked uncertain. "I'm not sure Scott and Jean..."

"Do you want me to take the baby or not?" Rachel started to cry, Hank handed her over and took off.

Jubilee looked down at the wailing baby and sighed.

* * *

It took Jubilee an hour to get tired of babysitting. This might very well have been a world record for her notoriously short attention span, but the final straw was when she finally broke down and changed a nasty diaper.

"Okay, kid, you're cute and all," she said as Rachel giggled happily at the on-screen antics of the Animaniacs, "but I don't think I'm quite ready for parenthood. I'm not done being irresponsible yet. I wonder who else got out of going to Parent's Day?"

* * *

"Come here, no need to be afraid of a baby," Jubilee said.

"I'm not afraid," Logan said, stepping closer and leaning to peer at the small thing in her arms. She responded immediately by grabbing his sideburns and yanking. Logan jumped back and automatically popped his claws on one hand.

"Hey!" Jubilee said, "She's just a baby!" Rachel looked confused at all the fuss.

Logan stayed a few prudent steps away. "She's a Summers, she's predisposed to not like me. Just put her on the blanket. And remember, you owe me for this."

Jubilee said, "The event will be over in a few hours. Can you survive?"

Logan growled and she scampered away.

Logan stood his ground and eyed Rachel, who looked up at him from her red and black blanket. "Well, it's just you and me, kid."

She gurgled and waved her hands. Logan frowned. She gurgled a little louder, seemingly perplexed by the lack of the usual reaction.

Logan crossed his arms. "I signed on for the superhero business, not for babysitting. I thought you were going to go to sleep, anyway."

Rachel's lip quivered. Logan's frown deepened. "What?" Then she started to cry. "Oh hell, what do I do now?"

Rachel's cries turned to wracking sobs. Logan looked around, but since no help seemed imminent, he picked her up, resting her gently against him like he'd seen everyone else do. She leaned against his shoulder and immediately stopped crying.

She was tiny, he realized, but her body seemed to generate warmth all out of proportion to her size. He stroked her head lightly as she gurgled happily at him. One tiny hand clutched at his sleeve and the other grabbed at the soft black hair on his chest.

"Oof," Logan said as she pulled, "that's quite the grip you've got there." He detached her hand from the chest hair and looked down at her.

Rachel Summers mustered all her considerable talents at charming grown-ups and smiled at Logan, and as he held her, his frown smoothed out and he found himself grinning down at the baby. "Whadda ya know, maybe this babysitting thing isn't so hard."

He sat in a chair with Rachel in his lap and she tugged at his t-shirt, his hair and his arms. "I've got an idea," he said, "let's go take a walk in the woods, and see what's out there." Rachel laughed. "I guess that's a yes."

So, he wrapped her up in her blanket and took her to the woods on the edge of the school property. There he put his woods skills to a use he had not heretofore considered.

Rachel was fascinated by everything she saw, cooing at the birds, giggling at the textures of the leaves, and staring in awe at a deer he stalked for her. Logan was impressed that she seemed to understand when to keep quiet and when she could make noise.

After they had been wandering for a while, Rachel started to get sleepy, and  
Logan settled down under a tree. He relaxed as the small warm bundle made tiny snoring noises onto his shoulder.

"Aww, isn't that cute? The big bad Wolverine caught with a baby!"

The voice of Sabretooth was unwelcome at the best of times, but this was just too much. "Don't wake the baby," Logan growled. Watching his enemy through narrowed eyes, he placed the sleeping Rachel on the ground beside him and jumped up.

Without another word, they launched themselves at each other.

The combat was fierce, and the two seemed evenly matched until Sabretooth let out a roar. Then, there was a sudden flurry too fast for the untrained eye to follow. When the dust settled, Logan could be seen sitting astride the prone Sabretooth, pounding his head against a rock.

"I SAID" Thunk "DON'T" Thunk "WAKE" Thunk "THE BABY!" Thunk.

* * *

When Scott and Jean came looking for their daughter, they were mildly surprised to find Logan and Rachel sitting on the front porch. Since Rachel was happily drinking a bottle, they weren't worried, just surprised and pleased.

Logan looked up as they approached. "Hey."

"You and Rachel have been getting acquainted?" Jean asked.

"Yup."

"Well, I hope you had a good time," Scott said tentatively.

"Yup, she's a good kid." Logan stood and stretched as Jean picked up her daughter. "Oh, you might want to grab Chuck and go check out the lab."

"Is something wrong?" Scott looked worried now.

"Nah, you just need to figure out what to do with Sabretooth, since Rachel and I dropped him off." Logan looked like he was trying not to laugh at them. "G'night, Rachel. We'll continue your lessons when you're a little older."


End file.
